There’s always been a preoccupation with the wealthy. They were the original influencers before the term was even coined. From the Gilded Age of the late 1800’s, our fascination with the upper class has been embedded into society so deeply, it has spawned television shows, magazines, thousands of books (both fictional and non), and feature length films.
Since this site deals with automobiles, we’ll take a look at what the truly wealthy people drive. And although there are stories about Steve Jobs (unlicensed) Mercedes SL, and Warren Buffett’s Black Lincoln, they are but mere poseurs in comparison to the true wealthy we’re talking about in this article. We’ve also tried to give some depth to the physical descriptions and personality traits of each group. So without further delay, here are the top vehicles driven by the upper crust of society, in alphabetical order:
BMW i8-The BMW i8 is a flashy car for a flashy man, and we say that because the owners are nearly all middle-age men. Batman doors and sumptuous lines belie the mere 3 cylinder engine that powers this hybrid. The drivers are usually what we in the business call “pretty boys”. They look good, they always have a smile on their face, have a great outlook on life, and are can’t walk by a mirror without looking at it. Unfortunately, they have no triceps, and in pickleball they tend to “swing for the fences” instead of playing a consistent, controlled game. Their wins usually come when they have a strong “adult” partner.
Cadillac XLR– The XLR is a classic and takes a real man to understand that. Powered by the Corvette pushrod V8, it’s fast without having to scream it. Classic lines, with a long hood and short rear deck lid, this car is for men who know a thing or two about cars. They tend to be leaders of industry, most own their own (very successful) companies, and despite their intelligence and education, are great bosses and friendly all around. They are always a hit with the ladies, and have a calm, easygoing personality. In Pickleball, they often have a mean and very effective spin that baffles opponents and sometimes even their more impatient partners (see Toyota Corolla below).
Genesis G70-The G70 is another car driven by primarily men, but these men typically are well dressed, well coiffed and not easily ruffled. When it comes to clothes, their motto is “If you can’t match, stay in bed” They tend to work in industries where ethics are not a prerequisite, and that follows them onto the Pickleball court where accurate calls are not their strong suit. Always a great attitude and great to play with, these G70 drivers tend to be middle aged, single, and just one wealthy widow away from being set for life.
Honda CRV-The Honda CRV is a stealth vehicle, especially the older ones. Generally, the wealthier the driver, the older the vehicle (and less clean). They say don’t judge a book by it’s cover and that’s certainly the case here. Older CRV drivers have the highest income of the group, (and that’s passive income) and tend to be very well educated, well spoken, quiet, attractive. Their game is well honed, with quick reactions, a great third-shot drop, and a surprisingly effective lob. But don’t let their good looks fool you, they are assassins on the court, and if you have to play against them, fake an injury. You’ll be better off.
Toyota Corolla-Toyota Corolla owners are an enigma. They barely make this list, but only because there’s a sheik in Saudi Arabia who ordered a thousand of them for his camel Jockeys the average owners net worth was skewed way up. But Corolla owners here in the states tend to be primarily women, although registration data shows there is one male owner, so that’s who we’ll focus on. They’re also in the “Pretty Boys” group. They “try” to be humble, but they’re very bad at it. They have decent net worth statements, but primarily because of their wives who’s 401k account have swelled with the soaring stock market. They don’t know the difference between a BMW and a Mercedes (which is why they drive a Corolla), their variety in music is non-existent. Although they have better triceps than the i8 drivers, they have bad knees. In pickleball, If you see them about to lunge for a well placed ball, look away-it’s not a pretty sight. They tend to lob a lot, and occasionally that lob will go in. Occasionally. And when it does, you’ll hear about it for the next three weeks. They lead the league in “Partners or opponents who’ve walked off the court in the middle of the game” and they’re very vocal players. Very. And they text like teenagers with “ur” and “wat” everywhere making you wonder if their phones have fallen into the hands of a random 10 year old taking a break from tic-tok.
Toyota Tundra-Drivers of the Tundra tend to be Real Men (unlike Toyota Corolla and BMW i8) referenced above in this article). They are friendly, gregarious, have a great attitude and love of life. They call their injured friends to check up on them, and ask if they need anything. They are also among the wealthiest in the group, but they don’t act like it. Where Toyota Corolla owners are “Fake” humble, Toyota Tundra drivers are “Real” humble and will be among the nicest drivers you’ll ever meet. On the court, they have great reactions, and incredible power behind nearly every shot. And don’t bother trying to hit around or over them, there’s no place on the court they can’t reach.